Our furtive stalking of the people at 826 Valencia is actually paying off. We're slack-jawed at the result. Never in our wildest dreams did we envision McSweeney's managing editor Eli Horowitz licking a can of Boss coffee for us. But in this week's canned coffee review, he has done just that. We are very proud — seriously, this kind of stuff makes us proud.

Eli Horowitz on our site. MC Hammer in the wings. These are heady times at Chin Music Press. Soon the staff will be up to three meals a day again, and I'll finally get a new can of WD-40.