Dan Kennedy, author of Loser Goes First, tipples for cannedcoffee.com this week. We hope he has health insurance.

First, it should be mentioned that I don't advise anyone to go blindly accepting packages from Tokyo then locking themselves in an apartment in downtown New York and ingesting the contents of the package, no questions asked. I especially don't advise taking your quasi-assistant/credit hungry intern person into the lockdown-and-consume mode with you. In your case, this combination could be fine, but in mine we're dealing with one man whose vital organs bear the compromises of two decades of excess and sporadic sleep ... and a younger man who thinks he's going to "assistant" his way to a career in letters. So, both desperate types, both with no business being in close quarters and submitting to a large and sudden infusion of stimulants from the land of the rising sun. Regardless, I opened a package from David Cady, prepared the test environment, then phoned assistant Tim Kell to please come by to ostensibly "make a FedEx run and help me out with a situation." A half-truth, a sting, a fence, a con.

Read on at cannedcoffee.com.